Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Ted's bad night



It's tough being owned by the world's dumbest dog. When he understood that the universe revolves around him, and that humans are only there to further his aims, the game was lost.

Ted the Wonder Dog hasn't left the porch, or driveway in a week. The ground has been wet, and he fears getting his dainty paws muddy, he's been sleeping like a cat. Can't say that I much blame him, but after a while, a dog has to go out and stay out for a while.

Just as we were getting ready for bed last night he decided he was going out. Heaven only knows who he was meeting, but he was going out come hell or high water. So I let him out and went to bed. Usually when he wants in he'll let us know.

In the morning I opened the door, expecting to see his sorry self asleep in his favorite spot on the porch. Only a semblance of him was there.

The savage beast must have spent the night chasing wild critters far and wide. He was covered in burrs so badly he couldn't open his eyes, and he wasn't at all happy about his inability to see. I spent my first hour picking burrs, thorns, sticks and grass from his wooly self, but he wouldn't let me anywhere near his face.

I was genuinely worried for him. The noise he made trying to free the burrs from his eyes was heart wrenching. Ever try to locate a vet on a holiday? It isn't easy. In desperation we called the groomer, bring him right over, she says. Within 10 minutes she had one eye uncovered, but felt the other required the clippers.

So shaved he got. The poor dog. Every time I look at him I laugh. His self esteem is shattered. Ever since he came home he has been curled up in a ball on his rug.

Betcha he doesn't leave his porch for weeks.

Toad

14 comments:

Martha said...

Our Oliver doesn't like getting his feet wet either! I've never seen a dog who did that before. Glad to know that there is another! He does look different shaved--

skorpeo said...

we made the mistake of going to a second-rate groomer to have our dog's undercoat trimmed. evidently the flunkee they had working that day did not understand the difference between "under" and "top" and completely shaved our dog...except for her head. she looked like a cancer patient wearing a hockey mask.

Kathleen said...

Oh, the poor guy. I bet he had a lot of fun on his adventure.

tintarosa said...

That hardly looks like the same dog. Do you think he learned his lesson?

Gail, in northern California said...

What does he carry in that grey box attached to his collar? Maybe I'm just clueless about the latest gadgetry.

Toad said...

Gail, along with his keys and a couple of dollars the grey box is a very old model of the receiver for our underground fence.

We have a deal worked out. Ted will let me keep the box on him, as long as I don't replace the battery when it dies.

He on the other hand, agrees to stay in the yard, unless I'm not looking.

Toad said...

Tintarosa, not a prayer. We have been down this road before. It won't be the last.

I do have age on my side now. He is not as frisky as he once was.

Mrs. Blandings said...

He is a handsome hound with or without hair. I've had a few nights like that myself. One or two were worth it.

David said...

Wow, that's quite the transformation. There is no price too high for a good groomer.

The inconvenience and expense aside, you kind of have to celebrate his getting out there and mixing it up.

Melissa said...

Oh, the price paid for a raucous night on the town. I'm sure hearts were broken, promises made.
Toad, when are you headed to NOLA? The Husband and I are going in October and I have copious shopping and dining research to share.

Toad said...

Melissa drop me an email, and I'll tell you my story. Mrs T and I would love to compare notes with you.

Katy McIntyre said...

Your subject line made me nervous but glad to hear he's alright. Poor Ted - doesn't look like himself without his hair. Good thing Casey & Elwood are in Denver - they might laugh at their uncle Ted. :)

ADG said...

Hate to laugh at Ted and at his expense but I'm still rolling. Poor guy.

I needed the laugh so thanks Ted. Still ain't got no computer and am 2/3 way through our company's annual strategic/business planning meeting. I'm inviting Ted to mediate it next year.

Renovation Therapy said...

Aww poor guy.